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Not What I Expected

Do you ever feel stuck? Like life moves on without you? It’s the start of 2019 and this is not where I expected my life would be. I was in my mid-20s at the time of the accident, thriving at my first job out of graduate school. I was emotionally happy and physically fit, exercising regularly and teaching yoga on the side. I thought I had a bunch of friends and my life put together. Or, so I thought. 

Then, the unexpected happened. My world was turned upside down. It has been over 3 years, but still feels like yesterday. 

It’s mind blowing how everything can change in an instant. The pain came, but never left. My physical fitness decreased. I tried medications that changed the physical appearance of my body. It feels near impossible to loose the weight – something I’m working on. It seems like weight gain is such a common side effect, yet these are the medications help me function. 

It’s sad to see my peers move on with their lives. Get married. Get pregnant. Start families. Sometimes I still feel stuck – at the time of the accident. I know life has progressed, but mine has moved on in a different direction. Not bad, just different. It’s something I’m still working on coming to terms with. 

I know change can be slow, and it takes patience. I am working on getting together with friends. I am working more, which is a huge success. I am working out regularly, pushing through pain as much as I can. 

It’s challenging to come to peace with the unexpected. A life you never thought you would be living. A life out of the norm for your age. I’m trying – I’m not perfect. Some days are easier than others. I hope with more time, it will be easier to come to acceptance with what has happened. 


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